Ellipse & Push Ups! Ungghhh!

Well Monday & Tuesday were interesting back at the gym.  Monday I was introduced to a 1980’s torture machine called the “Elliptical Trainer”.  What a nice, well rounded name.  Our good friends over at Wikipedia define “ellipse” as “In mathematics, an ellipse (from Greek ἔλλειψις elleipsis, a “falling short”) is a plane curve that results from the intersection of a cone by a plane in a way that produces a closed curve.”  Quite frankly they lost me at “mathematics”, but that’s another story.  I like the Greek – “falling short”, because as an exercise machine it is my personal view that “falling short” is the polite way of saying “what a horrible freakin’ machine.”  You stand on these two foot pads, grab hold of these two ‘poles’ & ostensibly, you are supposed to run, allegedly simulating cross country skiing, while thrashing all four limbs about willy nilly!.  I have skied cross country my friends & I am afraid somebody sold somebody Mr. Whalen a bill of goods on that machine.  While your feet, knees, hips and arms are going great guns, the rest of you remains absolutely stationary, but in about 15 seconds your calves & thighs are screaming at you to get the hell off of this machine!  But the mistake is trying to get off while the damned this is still moving.  I slipped & got my foot jammed in between one of those horrible foot pads & the ski pole thingy.  Fortunately that was a far as it went & with some gentle pulling of the levers I was able to dislodge my foot.  And there wasn’t even a curvaceous creature around to blame for my daintiness.

On the upside, Tuesday was upper body day & I actually finally managed to do three full repetitions of 12 full body push-ups.  A total of 36 push-ups – and no bra!  I went home & congratulated myself with a glass of wine at 08:30 – didn’t go well with the porridge, but what the hell eh?

Friday is my six week evaluation day!  I’m expecting some recriminations but hey, baby steps.  I’m happy with the push-ups & feeling so very much better!


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